I'm a firm believer that chocolate is a CURE ALL.

Quick recap...

Celebrating Mardi Gras with the best friend & some others!

Girls day with Leanne & Tara

Being very responsible while scooting around town...



Life was crazy for a week or so with my application into the Special Education program....

I didn't unpack my stuff from AZ until a couple of days ago...it just sat in the kitchen.
It was quite the relief once I finished the application!


Group date! Girls owned in the nerf gun war!

Crepe party at Mel's, so yummy!

Tara & I's dates for the night, notice mine is brown...? :)

Dance party for amber's birthday :) Great night out with the girls.


Life has been really good lately. I get to fly home in a couple weeks...actually less than two weeks & I am thrilled about that. It will be the first time in a long time that my entire family is together. There are less than two months left of school...or life in Provo. I am pretty thrilled about this summer & the adventures that will take place. However, I would be more thrilled if I had a job lined up. Ah well, let's cross our fingers that it all comes together :)

Welcome back !

This post is going to be huge.

Life has been eventful to say the least.

I can hardly remember back to the moment Cosmo kissed me [the most recent thing I blogged about]. That's a lie....I'll never forget that moment.

Ellie visited. It was absolutely fantastic. I can't even wait for us to live together this summer in Portland. It will be SO adventurous!!



A day in SLC, visiting Krista Martin, photo shoots, and Temple Square

Making the boys dinner, stir fry, brown rice, & lots of laughs.

Ice skating, Ellie's first time, Chase & Bobby were too funny.

Park City shopping, beautiful men, & driving all the way to freaking WYOMING.

Super bowl party! Only there for the food, which explains why I didn't even know what teams were playing! whoops!

Game night with the boys :)

Pranks & KISSES?!

Kneeders, BYU bookstore, & FHE


A well needed escape to PHOENIX!


Cousin time: Play grounds, ice cream, & sunshine :)

seeing DANE for the first time in over a year :)

Little Letters ♥

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. I promise to get to you as soon as my application is submitted and life returns to normal. I have not forgotten about you. Promise.

Dear Application,
For being the absolute necessity in getting me to where I want to be....I really am not very fond of you. I will not miss you once we part ways this week. Not one bit.

Dear apartment,
You will be deep cleaned, vacuumed, and organized soon. Right now you're too busy representing how hectic I feel to the rest of the universe. Thank you for that embarrassment by the way.

Dear upcoming week,
Please pass by smoothly & quickly.

Dear upcoming weekend,
Be prepared to live it up. We will be celebrating the completion of my application, and my return to a life of somewhat responsible irresponsibility and fun.

Life can trip you up on a perfect day

I have opened up a new post at least four times, written paragraphs, deleted them, and closed the window.

In short, my heart hurts. I don't remember the last time I even opened up enough to experience this feeling. It had to be over a year ago. I have an eight mile run in store for me tomorrow, that should take my mind of things slightly. I know that a few weeks from now, I will see clearly and this will all seem silly. Doug said to me tonight, "you know, it really does not matter how long it was...if you feel hurt, it really hurts." He's right. I feel silly, but I'm the type of person who invests in others. It is a blessing and a curse, really. It means I will be one fantastic wife and mother, but it does not serve me well in the dating game. The game is mean spirited. It goes against everything that is right, and good. I don't feel like I am capable of participating and I hope that in the end that benefits me. So after much chocolate, a good chat with Gwen & Doug, and time to think--I feel that life will be looking up very soon here.

Frankly, I have much more to focus on than silly situations such as this. The application into the program is due in 14 days and I have MUCH to do in order to be ready for that. I am starting to get really excited for this summer. It will be a great break away from the Provo scene. Lots of camping, backpacking, and hiking. I can hardly wait!

I leave for Phoenix early this Friday morning. That's right, I am escaping for the weekend. I feel it is a well earned escape though. I will be driving down with Tegan [what better company than that?] and will be able to see Dane on Sunday, and will stay with my uncle Isaac and his family. I feel like being with my uncle will act as sudo-dad time which is needed. On top of that, I will get some sun, and have plenty of time to think things through.

It should be a good weekend, and I hope to return clear-headed and ready for the rest of the semester. Right now I feel to exhausted to express myself any further so I should call it a night.

Friendship

I am such a friend pusher. I have realized, some people are food pushers [my mother, for example], some movie pushers, book pushers, ect. I am a friend pusher! I can't decide however, if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Allow me to explain.

Some of my most successful guy-girl friendships have come as the result of an unsuccessful romance. Whether he lost interest, or I did, often there bloomed an incredible friendship full of joking, playing, and bonding. It makes sense for this to happen right? I mean, if two people think they are capable to date one another, they clearly feel a sense of chemistry and common ground. So then, why is it that often if something ends, people choose to go their separate ways with no further communication?

While I understand the awkwardness, believe me, I get it, I also understand the prize to be won if one just pushes through this tricky stage for the sake of friendship! Oddly enough, I've realized in this situation, I would rather be the one experiencing the rejection, that way--the friendship is on my terms. I get to get over the awkwardness and they need to do nothing but wait and be friendly back. I hate when it is my job to wait and do nothing but be friendly. Why? Well, because I am a friend pusher.

Both Mark & Johnny have been results of things ending. I talk to them nearly daily, enjoy their company, and if anything just joke about the past silly situations we've been in. Now in my situation with _______ I am trying extremely hard to preserve a friendship. However, whenever I extend an invite, it comes off as pursuit for something more! I want to play, and talk, and have FUN. The trouble is, communicating this in such a way that it is not pursuing, and rubbing the fact that I don't want more in his face. The answer to all of this is obviously time and patience, and wow do I detest both. Ah well, I could afford to learn more patience.



Now for the fun stuff!
SATURDAY:

Ashely, Adam, Hilary, Mark, & I after the BYU basketball game !

SUNDAY:
-Church
-Dinner group, Tegan made swiss chicken, mmm mmm !
-Studying w/ Federico for NT

Tuesday:
-Running
-Basketball game
-Hot chocolate with Fred & then studying
-Chris Ah Sue & Matt Boyce stopped by
-BEDDDD.


Bobby & I at the BYU VS TCU game!

Cosmo, Tara, & I

Getting dipped and kissed by COSMOOO ! I am one LUCKYY girl !