I'm a firm believer that chocolate is a CURE ALL.

Quick recap...

Celebrating Mardi Gras with the best friend & some others!

Girls day with Leanne & Tara

Being very responsible while scooting around town...



Life was crazy for a week or so with my application into the Special Education program....

I didn't unpack my stuff from AZ until a couple of days ago...it just sat in the kitchen.
It was quite the relief once I finished the application!


Group date! Girls owned in the nerf gun war!

Crepe party at Mel's, so yummy!

Tara & I's dates for the night, notice mine is brown...? :)

Dance party for amber's birthday :) Great night out with the girls.


Life has been really good lately. I get to fly home in a couple weeks...actually less than two weeks & I am thrilled about that. It will be the first time in a long time that my entire family is together. There are less than two months left of school...or life in Provo. I am pretty thrilled about this summer & the adventures that will take place. However, I would be more thrilled if I had a job lined up. Ah well, let's cross our fingers that it all comes together :)

Welcome back !

This post is going to be huge.

Life has been eventful to say the least.

I can hardly remember back to the moment Cosmo kissed me [the most recent thing I blogged about]. That's a lie....I'll never forget that moment.

Ellie visited. It was absolutely fantastic. I can't even wait for us to live together this summer in Portland. It will be SO adventurous!!



A day in SLC, visiting Krista Martin, photo shoots, and Temple Square

Making the boys dinner, stir fry, brown rice, & lots of laughs.

Ice skating, Ellie's first time, Chase & Bobby were too funny.

Park City shopping, beautiful men, & driving all the way to freaking WYOMING.

Super bowl party! Only there for the food, which explains why I didn't even know what teams were playing! whoops!

Game night with the boys :)

Pranks & KISSES?!

Kneeders, BYU bookstore, & FHE


A well needed escape to PHOENIX!


Cousin time: Play grounds, ice cream, & sunshine :)

seeing DANE for the first time in over a year :)

Little Letters ♥

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. I promise to get to you as soon as my application is submitted and life returns to normal. I have not forgotten about you. Promise.

Dear Application,
For being the absolute necessity in getting me to where I want to be....I really am not very fond of you. I will not miss you once we part ways this week. Not one bit.

Dear apartment,
You will be deep cleaned, vacuumed, and organized soon. Right now you're too busy representing how hectic I feel to the rest of the universe. Thank you for that embarrassment by the way.

Dear upcoming week,
Please pass by smoothly & quickly.

Dear upcoming weekend,
Be prepared to live it up. We will be celebrating the completion of my application, and my return to a life of somewhat responsible irresponsibility and fun.

Life can trip you up on a perfect day

I have opened up a new post at least four times, written paragraphs, deleted them, and closed the window.

In short, my heart hurts. I don't remember the last time I even opened up enough to experience this feeling. It had to be over a year ago. I have an eight mile run in store for me tomorrow, that should take my mind of things slightly. I know that a few weeks from now, I will see clearly and this will all seem silly. Doug said to me tonight, "you know, it really does not matter how long it was...if you feel hurt, it really hurts." He's right. I feel silly, but I'm the type of person who invests in others. It is a blessing and a curse, really. It means I will be one fantastic wife and mother, but it does not serve me well in the dating game. The game is mean spirited. It goes against everything that is right, and good. I don't feel like I am capable of participating and I hope that in the end that benefits me. So after much chocolate, a good chat with Gwen & Doug, and time to think--I feel that life will be looking up very soon here.

Frankly, I have much more to focus on than silly situations such as this. The application into the program is due in 14 days and I have MUCH to do in order to be ready for that. I am starting to get really excited for this summer. It will be a great break away from the Provo scene. Lots of camping, backpacking, and hiking. I can hardly wait!

I leave for Phoenix early this Friday morning. That's right, I am escaping for the weekend. I feel it is a well earned escape though. I will be driving down with Tegan [what better company than that?] and will be able to see Dane on Sunday, and will stay with my uncle Isaac and his family. I feel like being with my uncle will act as sudo-dad time which is needed. On top of that, I will get some sun, and have plenty of time to think things through.

It should be a good weekend, and I hope to return clear-headed and ready for the rest of the semester. Right now I feel to exhausted to express myself any further so I should call it a night.

Friendship

I am such a friend pusher. I have realized, some people are food pushers [my mother, for example], some movie pushers, book pushers, ect. I am a friend pusher! I can't decide however, if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Allow me to explain.

Some of my most successful guy-girl friendships have come as the result of an unsuccessful romance. Whether he lost interest, or I did, often there bloomed an incredible friendship full of joking, playing, and bonding. It makes sense for this to happen right? I mean, if two people think they are capable to date one another, they clearly feel a sense of chemistry and common ground. So then, why is it that often if something ends, people choose to go their separate ways with no further communication?

While I understand the awkwardness, believe me, I get it, I also understand the prize to be won if one just pushes through this tricky stage for the sake of friendship! Oddly enough, I've realized in this situation, I would rather be the one experiencing the rejection, that way--the friendship is on my terms. I get to get over the awkwardness and they need to do nothing but wait and be friendly back. I hate when it is my job to wait and do nothing but be friendly. Why? Well, because I am a friend pusher.

Both Mark & Johnny have been results of things ending. I talk to them nearly daily, enjoy their company, and if anything just joke about the past silly situations we've been in. Now in my situation with _______ I am trying extremely hard to preserve a friendship. However, whenever I extend an invite, it comes off as pursuit for something more! I want to play, and talk, and have FUN. The trouble is, communicating this in such a way that it is not pursuing, and rubbing the fact that I don't want more in his face. The answer to all of this is obviously time and patience, and wow do I detest both. Ah well, I could afford to learn more patience.



Now for the fun stuff!
SATURDAY:

Ashely, Adam, Hilary, Mark, & I after the BYU basketball game !

SUNDAY:
-Church
-Dinner group, Tegan made swiss chicken, mmm mmm !
-Studying w/ Federico for NT

Tuesday:
-Running
-Basketball game
-Hot chocolate with Fred & then studying
-Chris Ah Sue & Matt Boyce stopped by
-BEDDDD.


Bobby & I at the BYU VS TCU game!

Cosmo, Tara, & I

Getting dipped and kissed by COSMOOO ! I am one LUCKYY girl !

Just a play by play

So rock climbing was awesome to say the least. Tara seemed to enjoy it a lot too so I think we will be going back Monday! :)


After, Tara had Matt over & he brought a friend. It was way fun but I think the friend got the wrong signals, actually I know he did. Eh, what can ya do. We watched Star Trek & I thought it was surprisingly good!
Yesterday I:
-Made banana bread w/ Tara
-Dropped it off to Matt & Chris
-Went shopping w/ Ally
-Studied for mcomm :(
-Went to the hot cocoa place w/ ally & tara
-Came back & watched My Sister's Keeper [and CRIED, so sad.]

Today I woke up, got ready, & went to Justin's game. It was tied at 33 and they won in the last TWO seconds with a three pointer!! It was SO COOL. Totally worth going. Nowwww I am going to go running, it's absolutely gorgeous outside, and possible play racquetball. Then I have to take an exam :(.

So this was pretty much a journal entry, not very insightful at all, but oh well ! It's nice to spill my brain sometimes.

Get it girlllll.

Quick overview of yesterday:
-Slept till NOON, who does that?!
-Studied, took an ASL midterm, kicked butt :)
-Class
-Cooked dinner
-Pilates
-Haiti charity event

-Giggled in bed with Tara till about 2 a.m. & finally fell asleep


Life is such a crazy roller coaster! My goal in blogging was to remain somewhat discreet, and not keep record of too much negativity, but in order to really explain my day, a little negativity is necessary.

Last night I dreamed about unhealthy sandwiches & beating people up. Tara dreamed she was on a baseball team and her jersey said POOP on it. As in, POOP was her name. Bahah. I love that girl.

Okay so today. I woke up, got ready, went to class only to find that class was canceled due to an electrical fire! Pretty awesome right?! So Justin & I headed over to the cougar eat, met up with Mark & Caitlin, & sat and talked for a while. It was fine, definitely nothing special. But what can ya do? I walked home with Mark, and felt pretty uneasy about some things. Oh boy, hereeee we go.
Lately I have been feeling like maybe I tend to be too nice. Is that even possible? Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am some angel, I have my thoughts, but I have learned to keep them to myself. I have let countless people walk all over me, leave me, and then come back to do it again. Trevor for instance, took me on a date with another girl, and then when he wanted to date again this year, I went for it, only to again, get screwed over. The worst part though, is that I never said anything. What the cuss was wrong with me?!?! Goodness gracious. Now that I've delved into some of the personal history....

After two big decisions, Tara and I streaked in our living room [blinds closed, door locked, of course] and then proceeded to get ready for the temple!

I enjoyed my time there, and was really missing my Dad prior to going. I kept praying that I would be able to feel a big hug from Heavenly Father to remedy a little bit of the "missing Dad" deal. While I felt the spirit strongly, nothing was hitting me that hard. As soon as I entered the font I felt an overwhelming happiness. I immediately felt comforted, and tears began to stream out of my eyes. I could not stop smiling! I am sure I looked like a crazy lady, and really what's new?! It was fantastic. It was better than a hug. I felt the pure love of Christ surround me, and that my friends, is better than ANYTHING I could ask for.


Tara and I have since made dinner [chili, squash & green beans] and now she is napping, I am not very good at the whole napping deal SO I thought I would empty my brain of all of this craziness & leave it for you guys to digest!

Tonight will be a lovely GIRL'S NIGHT full of rock climbing & catching up :) Possibly Step Up later on? We will see.